Cambodia

“Photography for me is not looking, it’s feeling. If you can’t feel what you’re looking at, then you’re never going to get others to feel anything when they look at your pictures.”

Sir Don McCullin.

A fantastic quote by the legendary conflict photographer Sir Don McCullin and I’m delighted to pay respect to such a talented and brave individual. If there is anyone who understands the impact of images and the emotion one may experience behind the lens its Sir Don McCullin.

Born in 1935 and brought up in a tough and deprived area of north London McCullin went on to become the UK’s most celebrated war and conflict photographer shooting for The Sunday Times Magazine. It is highly likely that you have seen his work and anyone studying history on wars in Vietnam, Northern Ireland, Berlin, Palestine, Cambodia, Africa and many more, would have come across his images in books, museums and newspapers. I have his autobiography ‘Unreasonable Behaviour’ and highly recommend it. It is moving and utterly fascinating and certainly gives one so much to consider when discussing photography, its affect on the photographer, the consumers of the images and the impact of the work produced. 

Its not expressed enough that so much of what we photograph is caught up in emotion. The natural response to stimulus and the subsequent emotional response to what you are witnessing and recording. It would be somewhat strange if one has no feelings when shooting and creating such imagery. For sure I feel that a photographer can for a while manage to go into work mode, focus on the task and whilst shooting the images perhaps be so caught up in the immediate practical responsibilities. So that the emotions, although still there are managed to a degree. But you would have to be pretty soulless and inert to not have some emotional reaction and feeling when shooting certain subject matter. In a previous blog I recall discussing the unpredictable response to an image by the consumer of that image. We don’t all respond the same way to imagery. But I feel in the quote above, McCullin is interested in the emotion and feeling when you are capturing the moment and the actual execution of the image. 

For sure every photographer knows that incredible feeling when you are shooting, looking through the lens and you know you have just captured something unique. That electric moment when you click the shutter and excitement rapidly surges through you as you are capturing something truly special. You want this to happen all the time but in all honesty it does not. It is impossible to experience this heightened emotion so regularly. Many shoots undertaken are obviously important and you treat them with due respect but they don’t necessarily have a great deal of an emotional impact on you. I wonder how excited still life photographers can get shooting catalogue pack shots each day. However I imagine they are excited by their day rate if it’s advertising. I certainly would be. That’s not to say that there is no delight and emotion in the creativity and execution of great still life but the day-to-day photography work does not always leave you enraptured. 

This is why so many photographers love to find time alone to try to ‘find themselves’, or get in touch with what truly inspires them as creative people. Often it’s the case that commercial work undertaken allows the photographer time and the resources to then go out and do what they really want to do as a photographer. And whilst shooting such work the photographers can begin to come close to what McCullin is describing here. And that feeling is being caught up in the moment and being emotionally connected. 

I am lucky to occasionally experience this emotion and excitement when shooting the commercial work that I do. Not always it has to be said but for sure there have been incredible moments where during a paid assignment I have felt truly emotional, excited and caught up in the moment. There have been wonderful career moments where I’ve had to pinch myself and wonder at my fortunate position. Sometimes when this happens you are in some incredible zone where you feel the camera is part of you and releasing the shutter is some organic and natural moment. It’s not a piece of equipment but the camera has become part of you. The connecting of stimulus to eye to brain to finger and the shutter release is all in fantastic harmony. You read the scene, anticipate and respond accordingly. It’s a delicate and exciting dance and you are feeling something utterly wonderful as you know each frame is skilfully capturing the very thing that you are feeling and seeing. But added to that there is the added thrill of the situation you may be capturing. So for a social photographer this is often a wedding or party where the very scene is highly emotionally charged. There is an excitement and tension in the air. If you look around you all eyes are watching the very same thing and they are witness to an emotional life changing moment. So the very circumstances all contribute to this heightened awareness and thrill. To be the one held responsible to capture this important moment is an honour and as much as you are in the zone, maintaining concentration, removed to a degree, you cant completely shut off your emotions.  I'm sure for many the emotions may flood in later as you consider what you just saw and the mind and body can react as the adrenalin flows away. I can’t imagine what it must be like for the likes of McCullin to live with the ghosts of the past. To consider what they have witnessed and recorded during their lives. 

I experienced this on a recent wedding I shot with a good friend and well-respected photographer. I have signed a NDA agreement and so cannot divulge any details of the bride and groom and the guest list here. But there was a moment during this celebration where I was caught up in a particularly exciting happening. I was in the middle of such an incredible and memorable scene. All around me were celebrities and some of the most famous people on the planet and there I was in a strange zone or state of mind as I tried my best to record this amazing event. The coming together of such famous people in this romantic and incredibly beautiful Italian Villa was unique and being responsible to capture every moment for such discerning guests and client certainly created tension and heightened emotion. It was for sure an incredibly satisfying and stimulating moment. There was such an adrenalin rush and I had to make sure I didn’t get carried away by it all. I needed to remind myself that I had to keep considering lens, aperture, shutter speed, angle and so on and forget who the people around me where. If I paused, stood back and watched I would have lost sight of my responsibilities. 

But you don’t need a bunch of uber famous celebrities to help you reach this excited, emotional state of mind. In fact it can be quite the opposite. And a great example of this was on my last trip to Cambodia. Each year I spend a month shooting travel photography in Asia. I base myself in Bangkok and then fly off to Cambodia, Vietnam or the Philippines. I get away from work and London and feed my creativity, remind myself of the joys of picture taking and get some great weather and tasty food along the way. Whilst walking along the street in Phnom Phen Cambodia I heard this incredible rhythmical music, drumming and chanting. I followed the sound and came across a mass of red and gold! A group of Cambodian musicians and performers were rehearsing for Chinese New Year. They were in full swing and the energy was just absolutely incredible. I instinctively jumped in and went immediately into picture taking mode. I was franticly swapping lenses, changing angles and totally immersed in the moment. It was so utterly exciting and thrilling. It didn’t last very long but afterwards I felt like I was on such a high. It was fifteen minutes of high drama and adrenalin. I was laughing like crazy and then spent half an hour trying to get email details of the kids so I could share the images with them. It was exactly the adrenalin rush one craves and the chance to suddenly be challenged and excited on a trip. From then on that day I was so happy and felt on top of the world. I have since sent all the images to the kids and I hope that the images are now on their phones, their Facebook pages and being shared and consumed by all. It feels so fantastic to know that such a wonderful moment has been captured and is bringing some joy to so them.

As Sir Don McCullin points out, if you are not feeling anything then how can you expect the consumers of your images feel anything. Well I was certainly caught up in the moment, felt so excited and alive and sincerely hope the people enjoying these images feel the same way.